Well, insights or some of those wicked American pain-killers that make you see little MC Escher lizards crawling around in your wallpaper pattern. it's hard to say which.
Either way, it's a fun read:
Next week, the favourite, Matt, who oscillates between wearing a hat and not wearing a hat, before singing songs initially intended only for women, will do a version of “My neck, my back” by Kia, cleverly redubbed “My penis, my beard”.
Aiden will continue in his quest to monopolise the misunderstood demographic by singing in the style of a man bleeding to death. Cher will start by singing, before whipping a shiv from her tracksuit top, and rapping from the side of her mouth like the woman in those hilarious having a stroke adverts.
Paige will remain outwardly unoffended when Louis Walsh tells him – without irony – that he reminds him of Lenny Henry, Luther Vandross, Frank Bruno, or Kris Akabusi.