Monday, November 8, 2010

Spooks, the Likely Lads, and the return of Lady Mary's Deadly Vajazzle

So for the first two days of this blog’s short life I have been rattling on about how social networking toys – most notably Twitter – enhance and expand the television-watching experience.

But there is of course a downside.

I’m very fond of Spooks. More specifically, I’m very fond of #spooks. That’s the hashtag that brings together a temporary online community which takes enormous delight in every improbable plot twist or convenient technological shortcut thrown up by BBC 1’s fast-moving and deliciously daft spy drama.

However, I have interests apart from watching the telly. Oh yes. I quite like brutally violent videogames too. Tonight I’m going to a press launch for Black Ops, the latest iteration of the Call Of Duty franchise.

I’m very pleased to be attending but of course that means missing the last Spooks episode of the season. It’s bound to be packed with incident and accident. Every twist and turn will be faithfully chronicled and discussed by that community on Twitter.

How will I remain ignorant of the outcome until tomorrow night when I can catch up on the iPlayer?

As Louis Barfe noted on Twitter this morning, I am Bob and Terry and the Internet is my Brian Glover. It’s going to be a tough old 36 hours.

Of course I don’t really need to wait until tomorrow to find out. This is more or less what will happen;

Ruth will find an obscure text written in the untranslatable Minoan language and instantly understand that it contains the postcode of the anonymous industrial unit where Lucas is hiding out with that hot young miss from Footballers’ Wives.

Harry will break with tradition and shimmer over there in his Crombie to have it out with his terminally conflicted agent.

Shots will be fired. Everything will go white. Harry will definitely back next season because Harry IS Spooks. His first order of season 10 will be to despatch new agent Lady Mary Crawley, The Heiress With The Lethal Labia from Downton Abbey, to scoot over to where Lucas is hiding and take him down with the one wapon no man can resist: The Poisoned Pudenda.

Case solved. You can’t spoil the Spooks finale for me because I’m a whole season ahead.

So don’t try.


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